lights, camera, action and other poems by Amy Saul-Zerby
lights, camera, action
in a room as quiet as
yours is today
there is space into which
expansion may occur
when a house is this quiet
& the wind comes
in audible gusts
Wolf Blitzer is not saying
anything from inside a box
in the other room
that is no longer a box
& no one is even in
the living room
& no one is doing laundry
& no one is cooking breakfast
there will be space
into which
you may speak
to yrself
& you might even think
of your mother in
a real way
& it may even be
the kind of quiet
you’d forgotten was
your first love
& her arms are open
to you again
or are not
& yr heart is racing
or it is not
& you can hear
yrself aging
quietly
try not to turn on
MSNBC
try not to think about
everyone you miss
all at once
(they are all here if
you listen
closely you can
see them)
try to hold an instant
btwn yr fingertips
& fail
know that you
are going to fail
& try
know that you
have been here
so many times
& try to do
what you wish
you’d done
the last time
& the time
before that
you deserve to have
the pleasure of doing
the damn thing
this time:
do it.
blame
when god closes a door
he opens a window
and i’m like
who cares
and i’m like
i just wanted what was
on the other side
of the door
and i’m like
fuck you, god
but really
the door was never
open anyway
and really
the door never existed
and really
i could look on the bright
side if i wanted to
but if i know
what i’m sad about
then i know
who i am
and closed doors
are best for crying
& blaming god
feels good sometimes
but blaming myself
is an old habit
i have not put in
the work
to break.
alignment
not that i
understand
but that
i want to;
that i would like
my intentions
to mean something,
if not to you, then
to the sky.
i’d like the moon
to tell me
how i got here.
would like for it
to matter how
i got here,
if not to you,
then to an empty
room.
if not to you,
then to the air.
to feel that there’s
a reason for
something is
enough
if you let it be
i am trying
hard
to let it be.
About the author:
Amy Saul-Zerby is a Philadelphia-based poet. Her work has appeared in TheNewerYork, Painted Bride Quarterly and Spy Kids Review. Her first full-length collection, ‘Paper Flowers, Imaginary Birds’, is forthcoming from Be About It Press, and she is managing editor of the spoken word-based publication Voicemail Poems, as well as multimedia editor for APIARY Magazine.
